The past is something I often revisit in my thoughts.
Most of the time, it comes with appreciation and smiles. Sometimes, I get sad thinking about loved ones I’ve lost or friends that I no longer speak to.
If you ever seen any of the Thor movies, you’ll know what I’m talking about right here.
Remember that bridge? The futuristic looking one with Idris Elba guarding it. Life for the past two or three years feels like I’m just running on that bridge, but I have no idea what I’m running to.
Now, that’s not to say I haven’t been having a great time. I’ve been to Greece, Spain, England & Portugal in the past three years. I’ve visited Anfield to watch Liverpool play & I’ve made countless memories with the people I love the most.
But looking at the big picture of life, I get lost in the journey sometimes.
And that’s what inspired me to write this. I was driving home from work at night, after yet another day of driving back and forth to D.C. two times in one day, and I thought about back when I used to live with my three best friends in college.
The feeling of walking back into the apartment after a long day and knowing your boys are in there and we could just chop it up about life at any time.
The amount of late night talks we had on that couch in Apt 3310 was like going to therapy.
And the exact sentence that I told myself in my head was, “man, I wish I was 22 in college again.”
Now on the surface, this is a normal thought that a lot of people have. The days of ones youth can be looked at as an innocent time with a lot less responsibility.
And sometimes the responsibility that one’s present-self is having to deal with can be unbearable at times.
But after thinking that, I thought to myself, “My 22 year-old self would love to be me right now, what am I talking about?”
And that’s the thing about life, if we keep reminiscing about the past, how will we ever fully enjoy our present?
When I’m 28, I’ll probably have the same exact thought of wishing I was 25 again.
So I owe it to my future self to enjoy these days I have the best way I can.
One of my favorite things to do in my apartment is to lift up the blinds on my windows, lie down on my couch, put some music on my speaker & just look at the sunset.
As a matter of fact, I’m writing this as the sun is going down and the orange of the sky is hitting perfectly against the windows.
I was driving back from my morning radio shift when “Good Days” by SZA came on shuffle. And she has a line in that song that perfectly echoes the same sentiment I’m talking about here.
“Half of us layin’ waste to our youth, it’s in the present.”
You can always use the past as a way of recognizing personal development, and seeing how you can get even better.
But you should never want to be back there over living in your world right now.
I will always strive to make my present…
“The Good Days”
I hope you do too.
